


Dear Connor Murphy>><<Dear Heather McNamera

by ViXen_LaDy36



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Also Meta, Betcha ya never saw this coming did ya, Connor fakes his death, Drunk Texting, F/M, Friends to A bit more than that, Fucking meta sometimes, Funny at moments, Gen, Gets deep sometimes, It'd be a kinda good match, Legit thought of this as I was showering, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, They text their stories, complaining, friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:45:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViXen_LaDy36/pseuds/ViXen_LaDy36
Summary: This will be done delicately, and this will be done perfectly.Sooo...basically a fic where Connor and Heather McNamera know each other and keep their friendship a secret by texting, retelling their stories from their points of view. Texting friends, ya know?Text buddies au





	Dear Connor Murphy>><<Dear Heather McNamera

People have their days. Their days where they just have to have something to get their mind off of whatever crap their dealing with. For Connor Murphy, those days are almost everyday. And to get his mind off his crap, he smokes. Weed and other stuff that is. His family knows it and hates it, but Connor has a strong attachment to those and always knows how to get more. But also...a person. She lives in another town and they've almost never seen each other in person, but they text all the time about their shit. And today, he needs her more than weed. Well, maybe not  _"more",_ but...

* * *

 

_WeedfaceConnor has added Heather#2TheYellowOne to 'The Hellhole We Call Home'_

 

WeedfaceConnor: heather i just can't with these people

WeedfaceConnor: like

WeedfaceConnor: my mom does absolutely nothing to help my life

WeedfaceConnor: my dad is a total ass face 

WeedfaceConnor: and my sister is a bitch 97% of the time

WeedfaceConnor: help meh with my shitty life

WeedfaceConnor: oh majestic yellow one

WeedfaceConnor: also this morning assface and jazzbitch were bitching at me this morning

WeedfaceConnor: when i did nothing wrong!

WeedfaceConnor: and Cynths just sitting there watching me get bitched at by my fam

WeedfaceConnor: MY FAM DAWG

 

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Connor

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Are you high right now?

 

WeedfaceConnor: nO

WeedfaceConnor: nO iM NoT

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Yeah you are.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Maybe that's why your family is berating you.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Cause you're getting high before school

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And don't call me Oh Yellow One.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And you think I don't have a shitty life?

....

WeedfaceConnor: Nope.

WeedfaceConnor: you're hot

WeedfaceConnor: blonde

WeedfaceConnor: popular

WeedfaceConnor: rich

WeedfaceConnor: and you're a part of the most popular clique in your school

WeedfaceConnor: and a hot cheerleader

WeedfaceConnor: and you don't get caught with shit

WeedfaceConnor: so tell me heather mcnamera

WeedfaceConnor: how do you have a shitty life per say

....

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Hold on, I'm getting ready my terrible life story ready.

...

Heather#2TheYellowOne: My parents literally don't give a flying fuck about my life as long as I graduate, get a job, or go to university.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: At school, girls that aren't Heathers either fear me,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Hate me,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Or want to be be me, therefore kissing my ass.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And the guys just want me for sex if they got rejected by Heather Chandler or they want an better shot.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And then being in the Heathers,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: the absolute worst, kinda.

WeedfaceConnor: kinda?

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Yup. It's nice, getting privileges like never having to do homework ever again,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Not being bullied or taunted unless it's by Heather Duke, being able to be a total bitch when I'm having a bad day,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And being head cheerleader.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: But at what cost?

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Heather Chandler treats me like a doormat, making me do everything since I'm her favorite,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Heather Duke just flat-out hates me cause I'm Heather chandler's favorite,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And the partying, shopping, drinking, and smoking gets tiring nowadays.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Like, all the days when I'm with the Heathers seem to just,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: like blurr together, ya know?

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And I sometimes wonder,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: If this is my life now,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And I'm gonna be this way with these people forever,

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And that the moment before I started hanging out with the Heathers, 

Heather#2TheYellowOne: was like, the last normal me moment.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: And now I'll never get that back.

.....

WeedfaceConnor: holy shit

WeedfaceConnor: you just dropped a major deep truth bomb on me

WeedfaceConnor: i don't know how to feel anymore

WeedfaceConnor: wow.

WeedfaceConnor: i think i stopped being high now

WeedfaceConnor: cause now,

WeedfaceConnor: I want to punch my sister in the face

Heather#2TheYellowOne: You feel that every day.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Now promise me.

WeedfaceConnor: what?

Heather#2TheYellowOne: That you'll stop getting high

WeedfaceConnor: no promises, i love my weed

WeedfaceConnor: it's in my name, heather

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Please? At least in front of your family.

....

.....

WeedfaceConnor: fine.

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Really??

WeedfaceConnor: besides, i got something else

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Wait what?

WeedfaceConnor: I don't need IRL weed

WeedfaceConnor: cause you're my real weed

WeedfaceConnor: cause i'm addicted to you

Heather#2TheYellowOne: Well thanks weedface, cause I'm addicted to you too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have never shipped these two before, and I regret not doing it now.  
> Also, Heather McNamera's texting style is Caps at the start of every sentence, and that punctuation. Connor's is lowercase forever with no end punctuation. He does use apostrophes though.  
> And that 'you're my weed' joke, right! I came up with it, and I loved it.


End file.
